Life isn’t viewed through our own two eyes anymore. We now let a smartphone be the first witness of things happening around us. We learn about other people’s lives, not by talking to, or observing them from a sun-drenched patio with a cool drink in front of us. Instead, we check out our friends’ Facebook pages and read their blogs. Direct communication seems a thing of the past. Continue reading
Shortly after my diagnosis, my then-boyfriend uttered those very words. He must have seen me look at myself in a critical manner one too many times since returning home from a two-week stint in hospital, wondering if ‘MS’ really was written on my face.
Even though I don’t usually give in to superficial words like this, and don’t necessarily follow fashion to a T, hearing his words did wonders for my mind. The relationship didn’t stand the test of time, but sometimes I still say those lines to myself. Nine years ago, his words became a quick-fix mantra to pick myself up when I needed a boost. Continue reading
I totally agree, in fact, I welcome change with open arms. Afraid of new challenges? No, not me. Because change is good.
I don’t want much this year. I don’t want my body to hurt anymore when I get hugged. To have no facial pains so I can smile again. No more neuropathic pain, no more trigeminal neuralgia, no more severe fatigue so I can return to work. I want to feel pretty for a day. I want to have enough energy and patience to see the magic of this holiday through my family’s eyes.
Billie Continue reading
Back in blogging-land after a much needed break from writing and staring into my own little world. There were doctors’ visits and hospital waiting rooms, a very slow stroll through as well as lots of sleep and trying to lose weight before the Christmas holidays arrive. Friends came and went, and books were tossed aside after reading half a page. On a more exciting note, I ended up on www.writing.ie, the home of Irish writing online, with something I wrote about writing. Feel free to check it out here!
I finally convinced myself to stop and take stock with the words “Being this overly, mentally busy doesn’t work for me anymore,” because deep down I knew I had arrived in Klutz Central. KC, the final destination and home of being unable gathering and storing new information while having the energy levels of a sloth on Valium, really is the hometown of my bedroom.
Tomorrow is the first Trigeminal Neuralgia Awareness Day, focused on bringing awareness about facial pain disorders.
This year I have gone through severe TN attacks myself and I therefore want to spread awareness about Trigeminal Neuralgia, also called “the suicide disease” because of the severity of pain experienced.
Please check out this video and these internet pages:
“The presumed cause of TN is a blood vessel pressing on the trigeminal nerve as it exits the brainstem. This compression can wear away the protective coating around the nerve (the myelin sheath). TN symptoms can also occur in people with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), a disease caused by the deterioration of myelin throughout the body, or may be caused by damage to the myelin sheath by compression from a tumour. Continue reading
It was a cold, dark February morning in 2005 and once again, my eye and facial pain was back. The antibiotics my old GP gave me the week before did not work at all, and he seemed clueless about what could be wrong with me. In the few weeks before trying out another round of antibiotics, I had seen a dentist, went to the Eye & Ear Clinic and I had seen a homeopath, yet nobody was able to give me a clear answer. The only person somewhat clear on what was wrong with me, said that I needed to have my immune and central nervous system checked out. Fast. She was an intuitive healer, and turned out to be 100% correct.
On my way to work that morning, just before driving past our local hospital, I decided I had to do something about the continuous pain that had been troubling me for the last four or five months. If my GP was not going to be proactive, at least I would, so I got off the bus and walked towards the hospital, wondering if I was either going stir crazy or if I was doing the right thing.
Brain fog. “Being blonde”. Now I know what it feels like.
Years ago I acquired the “just being blonde” tag by others in my team at work because I suddenly needed time to digest ideas, questions and discussions. I would never have referred to myself as “being blonde” in those days because I used to be quick-witted, but a) I was dark-haired back then, and still am, and b) I would have taken offense at being associated with the stupidity some blondes go through life with (that said, every other hair colour has flaws also and it was just the way people referred to me this way). Today though I am being majorly, I truly am super-trooper-dooper-dippitydoooo-blonde. And there’s no shame in it. At all.
In other words: my elevator of knowledge does not travel all the way up to the top floor right now; it keeps sticking somewhere between the 3rd and the 4th floor. I hear people talking, but there’s no understanding flowing from hearing and seeing them move their lips and vocal chords into linguistic marvels of the 21st century. Continue reading
Ah Dublin, where everything is fancy and fair, where the sun can wipe out the feel of cool grey stones of its houses and where things just get better by hearing the sound of a jig or reel.
Not so this morning. Fancy and fair… only if you would let me stay under my duvet. Grey… yes, so much so I thought the city had turned into 50 shades of it. Sound of a jig or reel… urgh please no, major migraine in progress. The sound of an alarm going off just when Brad Pi… oh no it wasn’t him, it was yer one of Shrek. Yes, the green one… Shrek himself… taking a bubble bath… Naked… Doing a hula-dance to dry himself off… Héééééélp!!!
Alarm clock… who invented you, you evil devilish device to disrupt the peaceful sleep of an otherwise happy girl at the predetermined hour of 8am? Peaceful it might have been were it not for neuropathic pain waking me up around 2am… -ish… Wide awake until 7.40am… -ish… didn’t even need coffee or my Provigil tablets for this remarkable feat of Williamesque neurological engineering! Entered a snooze-like state for about 20 minutes, only to be woken up by said clock at the said time. Said clock is now lying in the bin, right where it belongs. Finally we’re even, because this morning our fight ended in a draw… woohoohooo! Clock 2 – 2 Billie… Where can I pick up my Olympic medal for throwing my left arm as far and wide as I possibly could? Continue reading