Tag Archives: Trigeminal Neuralgia

No end to trigeminal neuralgia

b61ee3bf0e7ee52d0332a9f29cdf1143Oh dear.

It was indeed that time again.

“When I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad, I’m even better,” Mae West once said. Now I don’t know much about Mae West, but I see her as an all-out cowgirl, slinging guns left, right and centre. In that respect, Mae, girl power, and let us all be great when we’re good, and even worse when we’re bad!

While I’m sitting here, typing fine long sentences, I’m almost giddy of pain, and the left side of my face feels like it’s being pulled way west in the direction of the Atlantic Ocean. My left eye feel like closing up shop for a week or two, and my brain is slowly being stir-fried. Yes, that is what trigeminal neuralgia feels like.

It’s not always like this though, as trigeminal pain can translate in different ways. It can feel like the ice bucket challenge, an earthquake, and monsoons as well as just… Mae West’s “when I’m bad, I’m even better.”

Silly girl, of course (me, not Mae West). I’m an idiot. Here I am, telling people to take care of themselves, telling them to take some time off from their MS as it’ll be there long enough, but do I listen to myself? Continue reading

The social swing of life

social-mediaLife isn’t viewed through our own two eyes anymore. We now let a smartphone be the first witness of things happening around us. We learn about other people’s lives, not by talking to, or observing them from a sun-drenched patio with a cool drink in front of us. Instead, we check out our friends’ Facebook pages and read their blogs. Direct communication seems a thing of the past. Continue reading

Not my face!

162974080234952360_x4ok1y8s_fSomeone once said “Babe, you may have MS, but you’re still sexy. Never forget that.”

Shortly after my diagnosis, my then-boyfriend uttered those very words. He must have seen me look at myself in a critical manner one too many times since returning home from a two-week stint in hospital, wondering if ‘MS’ really was written on my face.

Even though I don’t usually give in to superficial words like this, and don’t necessarily follow fashion to a T, hearing his words did wonders for my mind. The relationship didn’t stand the test of time, but sometimes I still say those lines to myself. Nine years ago, his words became a quick-fix mantra to pick myself up when I needed a boost. Continue reading

FEATURED: A Powerful Letter to MS

Multiple Sclerosis.

You’re here.

Not residing anywhere else but here, inside me. Nine years and counting. Probably a lot longer if you really want to play dirty.

Why did you choose me when there were so many other people you could have picked? You were probably out for vengeance for working too hard and resting too little. You probably thought it would be fun seeing me cry at the bottom of the staircase when I was so tired I couldn’t climb it anymore. Did you know, did you truly believe it was slapstick-funny? Continue reading

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I don’t want much this year. I don’t want my body to hurt anymore when I get hugged. To have no facial pains so I can smile again. No more neuropathic pain, no more trigeminal neuralgia, no more severe fatigue so I can return to work. I want to feel pretty for a day. I want to have enough energy and patience to see the magic of this holiday through my family’s eyes.

Love,
Billie Continue reading

Raining roses

Back in blogging-land after a much needed break from writing and staring into my own little world. There were doctors’ visits and hospital waiting rooms, a very slow stroll through Dublin Zoo as well as lots of sleep and trying to lose weight before the Christmas holidays arrive. Friends came and went, and books were tossed aside after reading half a page. On a more exciting note, I ended up on www.writing.ie, the home of Irish writing online, with something I wrote about writing. Feel free to check it out here!

I finally convinced myself to stop and take stock with the words “Being this overly, mentally busy doesn’t work for me anymore,” because deep down I knew I had arrived in Klutz Central. KC, the final destination and home of being unable gathering and storing new information while having the energy levels of a sloth on Valium, really is the hometown of my bedroom.

Continue reading

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